There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
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I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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