She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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