hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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