I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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