You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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