Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize