Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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