Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
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