I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize