TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize