My girlfriend figured out who you are.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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