she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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