**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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