fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize