....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize