so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
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I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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