haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
not ubering you a puppy
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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