She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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