i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We have so much sex to catch up on
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Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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