i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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