yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize