He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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