It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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