meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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