Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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