you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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