It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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