Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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