this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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