When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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