Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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