im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize