Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
there is glitter all over my balls
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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