Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.

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  (212): You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin. http://tfl.nu/5eus
  Replies (15) Good night (767) Bad night (4578) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007

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  (443): i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007 http://tfl.nu/tyl3
  Replies (19) Good night (6482) Bad night (1414) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.

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  (425): Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me. http://tfl.nu/edgt
  Replies (20) Good night (1240) Bad night (4702) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese

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  (248): btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese http://tfl.nu/b6cs
  Replies (9) Good night (4628) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.

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  (773): Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys. http://tfl.nu/y8cg
  Replies (2) Good night (2057) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab

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  (719): I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab http://tfl.nu/ysz3
  Replies (8) Good night (723) Bad night (1368) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.

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  (815): I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost. http://tfl.nu/ucyv
  Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (541)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1455) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!

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  (973): They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on! http://tfl.nu/sa0h
  Replies (10) Good night (1101) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  hey man, it was for science okay.

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  (413): dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs. (443): hey man, it was for science okay. http://tfl.nu/r3mr
  Replies (10) Good night (1251) Bad night (319)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.

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  (781): perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax. http://tfl.nu/ar2h
  Replies (0) Good night (678) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am

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  (904): I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am http://tfl.nu/dm8p
  Replies (9) Good night (2033) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  (734): I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed http://tfl.nu/ut1d
  Replies (3) Good night (853) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.

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  (805): Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock. http://tfl.nu/vnzj
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?

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  (250): anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you. (1-250): ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine? http://tfl.nu/1018
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt

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