Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize