im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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