Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize