It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
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IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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