I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize