I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
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I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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