don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Houston, we have a blender
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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