Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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