shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize