Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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