Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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