they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize