I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He shit in the fireplace
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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