i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
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