Plan B is the new Plan A
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize