help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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